let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
