Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
