At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
