Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
