I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
