can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
