i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
