You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
