you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
