i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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