On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We got so high we made milksteak
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
