I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
