K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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