you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
