Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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