Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
