so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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