and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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