Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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