so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
