Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
