just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
