Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
