i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
