If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
