I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
