Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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