Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
