fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
