whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
