He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
