Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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