Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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