sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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