Can i not drive my cunt home
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
