Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
