Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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