I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We need to rekindle our bromance
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
