whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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