That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
