Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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