We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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