Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
