I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
