Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
