I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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