Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
