it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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