Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
