Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
