I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
