If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
