can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
