my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
